Hi Bingers! As a hopelessly single romantic (with a psych background), there is no greater joy than analyzing fictional relationships in my favorite shows. Often the complexities and pitfalls make characters feel like your annoying friend who won’t stop calling their ex, but mostly it’s just fun to be a little judgmental. On a more serious note, the relationships we see in the media impact our expectations when it comes to our relationships with friends and significant others. Zooming out even further, the media we consume is ultimately a reflection of where we’re at as a society. Below are some Netflix shows that have taught me valuable lessons about how “messy” relationships can be—and how we can learn from them.
BOJACK HORSEMAN: Self-Reflection and Improvement
For this topic, we turn to everyone’s favorite has-been: BoJack Horseman.
Fans of this show already know where I’m going, but for a great lesson in how your own lack of self-awareness can harm others, give BoJack Horseman a try. The writers create haunting throughlines of BoJack’s behavior. At a certain point it’s almost painful to watch him cycle right back into denial and vices rather than make changes in his destructive behavior. I only watch this show when I’m in a good mood, but it’s one of the best cautionary tales out there.
BRIDGERTON: Consent
Did you expect Bridgerton to be here? Me neither! As a big fan of period dramas, I assumed this series was going to be a colorful and whimsical love story. In the middle of the first episode, I was struck by the casting and was later let down by its racial politics, but that’s a story for another day. What really took the cake was the incredibly toxic relationship between the main couple, Simon and Daphne. Without spoiling, the show highlights an important nuance when it comes to consent in romantic relationships, particularly if one partner is less aware or knowledgeable. What do you do if your partner simply doesn’t understand or hasn’t been taught about consent? Bridgerton has plenty of joyful, light-hearted moments, but is also a great window into social understandings of consent, and a reminder that we have a long way to go.
SEX EDUCATION: When to Forgive and When to Move On
Sex Education is the show to watch if you’re missing out on the epic highs and lows of being an awkward teenager, but it also has really interesting relationships. Now, the decision to forgive is personal and situational, but I remember hopping on Twitter and finding anti-Adam sentiment! I realized that I had been so excited about Eric getting the relationship he wanted, that I had not been critical of what that meant. In Eric’s case it’s a bit extreme, but when do you let people who have harmed you into your life again? It’s a difficult decision. It would be easy to say never, but life is complicated, and sometimes our feelings are not deterred by the past. Either way, put yourself first and remember you deserve the world (and a significant other who would move mountains for you)!
FEEL GOOD: Taking Time to Grow
We’ve talked about a happy ending, but let’s look at a not-so-happy one. Feel Good is one of the best shows I’ve ever watched. It combats stigma, tells really good jokes, and in the end, you feel as though you have grown despite having watched what could be defined as a failed relationship. Sometimes the timing isn’t right and love can’t compensate for the strain. There is great strength in knowing when to let go, even when it hurts. And although you’ll feel the loss of a relationship, people need space to grow.
Thanks for coming with me on a brief journey down relationship lane! Single or not, I hope you look into these shows or find a life lesson in a show close to your heart.
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